Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
