Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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