He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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