Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize