I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
