fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
