I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
