im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Green mimosas i think yes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
