This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
