Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
