I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I am one with the molecules
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
