alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I wear drunk well.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize