At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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