i just identified you from a description of your pipe
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
