I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
