Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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