if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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