Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sorry about my life...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
