Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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