is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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