Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just blew my weed a kiss
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
