i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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