i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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