you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize