I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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