If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
