Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
