thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
