I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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