last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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