Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

(407): View more from Florida

i think you have the wrong number

(813): View more from Florida

so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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(813): I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter. (407): i think you have the wrong number (813): so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool. http://tfl.nu/uuec

Replies (70) Good night (7160) Bad night (671)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.

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(507): We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them. http://tfl.nu/g8a0

Replies (20) Good night (3503) Bad night (975)
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(530): View more from California

smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers

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(530): smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers http://tfl.nu/y866

Replies (51) Good night (7061) Bad night (974)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.

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(978): dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/gwo8

Replies (59) Good night (5259) Bad night (4847)
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(850): View more from Florida

I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

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(850): I don't remember much but I know I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/1lsd

Replies (19) Good night (5978) Bad night (1082)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.

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(814): This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left. http://tfl.nu/p749

Replies (8) Good night (2836) Bad night (923)
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(407): View more from Florida

Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.

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(407): Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season. http://tfl.nu/9ccu

Replies (5) Good night (1533) Bad night (861)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!

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(541): I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed! http://tfl.nu/rzlj

Replies (13) Good night (708) Bad night (2404)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

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(215): i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be.. http://tfl.nu/8j64

Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (1263)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no

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(720): You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no http://tfl.nu/o8fg

Replies (3) Good night (2395) Bad night (602)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.

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(651): "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk. http://tfl.nu/ji17

Replies (6) Good night (1006) Bad night (511)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches

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(314): Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches http://tfl.nu/40rq

Replies (1) Good night (1186) Bad night (813)
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(757): View more from Virginia

As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.

(804): View more from Virginia

This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.

(804): View more from Virginia

You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.

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(757): As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar. (804): This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper. (804): You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life. http://tfl.nu/w5j4

Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (282)
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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.

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(+31): Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night. http://tfl.nu/bd92

Replies (0) Good night (641) Bad night (210)
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(503): View more from Oregon

My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.

(503): View more from Oregon

I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.

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(503): My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon. (503): I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me. http://tfl.nu/sdzr

Replies (6) Good night (889) Bad night (387)

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