Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Success! We fucked roommates!
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