Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
