I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
