if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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