butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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