While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
