i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize