Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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