it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
