Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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