She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I party with great urgency now.
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