shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
