OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
