I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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