I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wish they made helmets for livers.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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