Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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