Three words: puerto rican gang bang
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
