Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. Iām starting to see why you drink so much.
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