I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
