My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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