I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
