I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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