Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dick very happy bro
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
