Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
