If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
