i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
