Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
