all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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