Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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