Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
