He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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