Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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