I molested 6 butterflies tonight
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
