He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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