I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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